i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
