my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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