sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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