dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
