I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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