did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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