Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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