babies were throwing up all over the place
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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