but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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