I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
