You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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