There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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