I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
