I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
