I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
