that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
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