Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
