My boss' voice literally gives me gas
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
