How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
is wine microwaveable?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
