Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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