so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
