I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
