Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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