I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
