If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize