Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
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I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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