Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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