You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
