This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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