Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
