I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
