I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
the gays at disneyland are vicious
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
