There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize