epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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