Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
