Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
