You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
