just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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