____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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