My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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