The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
