You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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