God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
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