Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
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your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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