Dual....:-)
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
