can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My bed smells like the plague
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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