I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
