Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
