I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
