i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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