It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
