no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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