I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize