Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize