are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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