I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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