Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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