I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
