It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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