i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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