I accidentally burped into my bong.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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