I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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